The chosen One!

Well... this picture says it all. 2010 has been the most rewarding, humbling, challenging year of my life. Being the mother to this amazing human being has made me a different woman all together. I thought I knew who I was before Cassius, but when you're in my shoes (which are often quite amazingly stylish) you're forced to rise to levels beyond your wildest dreams. I thank GOD daily for the opportunity to mother him. And most recently realized, this new mother, needs mothering. That said, I have opened myself up to the help and love of my tribe, thus experiencing a deeper appreciation for my own mother, sister and all of the other mothers who have had an impact on my life. Now that Cash is almost walking, life will only get more colorful. I hope to check in and update more in 2011... but I'll leave you with this. Life as I knew it, is no more. Life from here on out, is the life I am grateful... chose me!

Love and happiness in 2011... in great shoes, of course!

His hi is my high!

My friend Desiree' and her daughter were at a b-day party for her husband and I witnessed something that really stuck with me. Her daughter might have been around 6 months old and was so gregarious. She was laughing and trying to stand while leaning back against her mom. She really engaged with people and left such an impression on everyone at the event. Certainly not the kid someone not so "kid friendly" would avoid because aside from being adorable, she really took in her surroundings and was the bell of the ball. As another friend with a daughter around the same age looked on, she wondered why her own daughter wasn't more animated. Instead of Desiree' asking what her daughters sign was and saying, "All children are different..." to appease her she simply asked her a question. She asked if she was engaging her child and stimulating her in a way that would elicit the type of response seen in her daughter. The other mom paused and simply said, "No". She took my girlfriends lead and within minutes, her daughter was at it too, instinctively. Children were the last thing on my mind at that point in my life, yet I often thought of that exchange I was fortunate enough to witness as it was something I often drew from. That which you give your attention to will flourish notion is truer than true. So whether we're talking about child development or the day to day life experience, it's both relatable and applicable. What I learned from Desiree' was that no matter how young your child is, foster their instincts. True, every child is different and beautifully unique. That said, if they feel like locking their legs in an attempt to stand and making eye contact at 2 months... hold them and engage. That is exactly what I did with Cassius and it's evident in the video how effective engagement is. If you don't have children, no idea or dream is too young to nurture and develop. What I learned from the other mom was that being open and asking another mother for insight led her to a great breakthrough with her child. Note I said, asking for insight opposed to it being imposed on her which I must say happens way too often in the mommy "I have 3 kids so I know know better and I have to tell you so" world. For those that don't have children, what I walked away with was staying open really can lead to significant lessons that can and usually will change your life. Now that I'm a mom... I make it a point to keep my son engaged while he's awake. I was warned I wouldn't see much reciprocal interaction in month 2, but that couldn't have been more inaccurate. Cash is now 4 months and he's changing so quickly I can barely keep up. Applying what I witnessed at that party more than 7 years ago really reminds me to be present. Simple moments occur to help us down the road and they sit in silence until we need to remember what to do with the information. Here I thought I was going to a party for the birthday cake and I walked out with the icing too!

Happy Mother's Day Mom... but no singing! PLEASE!

So May 9, 2010 was my first Mother's day. It was a perfect morning... waking up to my 11 week old son. Full of gratitude, joy and humility. I sing to Cassius to calm him down at home, but mostly in the car as you all know how unsettling it is to have a baby screaming to the point of exhaustion on the 405! My lullabies are always the sure shot and settle him in moments... I promise. So, on Mother's day, it was a no brainer to sing to him while he was sleeping, thinking I'd get a glimpse of his toothless grin. Wishful thinking. The video says it all and please note... I messed up the words and he caught it and flashed the "stop" hand signal. Then took a little peep through his eye, hoping I was done so he could resume his nap. Life is full of blissful moments like these... Enjoy!

* the picture above was taken at 1 week... but I had to throw it in to capture the tenderness I interrupted.

Beware… Incubating while singing!

So on a typical chili October night in Los Angeles I decided to go see a dear friend and fellow artist, Joy Jones, perform at her highly anticipated album release party for “Godchild”.  I was 6 months pregnant at the time and was still a bit apprehensive about broadcasting my news. You see LA is a bird of a different color. People feel completely at ease saying, “Congrats, who’s the father?”.  Or “You look great… invitro?”.   And the best is, “How will you support yourself?”. So you can understand my desire to be a bit incognegro, albeit it was an ill-fated attempt. You see… in the underground music scene, you really can’t play the background. When you come out to support a fellow artist, it’s fellowship. Church. You have to get up and sing, participate, amen and sometimes even help sell cd’s.
So when Joy called me up after Rahsaan Patterson to take the mike, little did I know she would call me out. The upside was it might dispel rumors that I’d had breast augmentation. But quietly, I was enjoying my little secret while people fished for answers. But I rolled with it, publicly embraced my bump and free styled to 200 people I thought would forget about it the next day. All the while hoping I could still get hired to Dj for another month or so, in my conveniently forgiving dresses I copped from Saks . Within a day or so it ended up on youtube and I was shook! My marriage and other relationships, industry ups and downs flew like lyrical missiles in my shows and in the press, so why was I so guarded with my pregnancy? Once I watched the clip and saw myself as myself, I had an epiphany. It wasn’t other people, fear of losing work, nor my finances at all. I was afraid I’d lose my edge, my passion. I’d allowed just enough of other peoples projections to sit on the surface like water on an afro that beads up on the ends. Please don’t act like you don’t know! I digress… but what came through was a woman who was still fearless, vulnerable and so so so grateful. When you really let go and surrender to the moment, your true essence resonates which helped me get over it! From that point on,  I fully embraced my pregnancy, perhaps too much according to my local Walgreens photo department.
Now that Cash is here, he’s made me edgier and more creative. Now that I’m a mom, Cassius’ mom, entertaining those insecurities in retrospect was sophomoric. So big props to Joy Jones who helped liberate me and the random video phone that captured such a great moment. I hope pregnant woman grab a tight hold of their beauty and power while they are pregnant. Everything GOD has for you will be right there after you and your baby are delivered… trust!









http://www.amazon.com/Godchild/dp/B002GETZ3Q

Look mom... I'm laughin'!

This video captures Cassius at 6 weeks. He’s already strong enough to lift his chest, turn his head from left to right and can scream and grunt as if someone said pacifiers will soon be extinct. But the best and most amazing moments (aside from him sleeping after an hour of pulling my hair and collecting my DNA under his fingernails) is when he laughs. I don’t mean a simple smile… I mean a grown man, flirty, those boobs belong to me laugh. It also includes a yawn which is just the breast... I mean the best bonus… So enjoy!