Monday, June 14, 2010

His hi is my high!



My friend Desiree' and her daughter were at a b-day party for her husband and I witnessed something that really stuck with me. Her daughter might have been around 6 months old and was so gregarious. She was laughing and trying to stand while leaning back against her mom. She really engaged with people and left such an impression on everyone at the event. Certainly not the kid someone not so "kid friendly" would avoid because aside from being adorable, she really took in her surroundings and was the bell of the ball. As another friend with a daughter around the same age looked on, she wondered why her own daughter wasn't more animated. Instead of Desiree' asking what her daughters sign was and saying, "All children are different..." to appease her she simply asked her a question. She asked if she was engaging her child and stimulating her in a way that would elicit the type of response seen in her daughter. The other mom paused and simply said, "No". She took my girlfriends lead and within minutes, her daughter was at it too, instinctively. Children were the last thing on my mind at that point in my life, yet I often thought of that exchange I was fortunate enough to witness as it was something I often drew from. That which you give your attention to will flourish notion is truer than true. So whether we're talking about child development or the day to day life experience, it's both relatable and applicable. What I learned from Desiree' was that no matter how young your child is, foster their instincts. True, every child is different and beautifully unique. That said, if they feel like locking their legs in an attempt to stand and making eye contact at 2 months... hold them and engage. That is exactly what I did with Cassius and it's evident in the video how effective engagement is. If you don't have children, no idea or dream is too young to nurture and develop. What I learned from the other mom was that being open and asking another mother for insight led her to a great breakthrough with her child. Note I said, asking for insight opposed to it being imposed on her which I must say happens way too often in the mommy "I have 3 kids so I know know better and I have to tell you so" world. For those that don't have children, what I walked away with was staying open really can lead to significant lessons that can and usually will change your life. Now that I'm a mom... I make it a point to keep my son engaged while he's awake. I was warned I wouldn't see much reciprocal interaction in month 2, but that couldn't have been more inaccurate. Cash is now 4 months and he's changing so quickly I can barely keep up. Applying what I witnessed at that party more than 7 years ago really reminds me to be present. Simple moments occur to help us down the road and they sit in silence until we need to remember what to do with the information. Here I thought I was going to a party for the birthday cake and I walked out with the icing too!